JUST A SMILE

I know that I should probably get some sleep. 2 hours of sleep last night and a full day of work later...I am exhausted. Yet these girls that have captured my heart are the very thing that keep me from sleeping. I just had turned off my light, settled into my comfortable bed...and processed the last few chapters of a book I am reading on sex trafficking. The emotions from the stories I read seem to hit me in waves. Waves of shock, hope, horror, and grief. And what hit me tonight, in a deeper way than ever, is that as I lie in my bed..right at this very moment..those "stories" I read are happening. It is when you begin to not just see those horrors as true, but real...that is when your heart breaks. And mine is breaking tonight. And all I have now are words on a page. In just a few weeks, I am going to be confronted with faces. I won't be reading about these girls' experiences, I will be hearing about them. As painful as it is to learn about these things, I hope I never become callous to the hell these girls live in.

To say that my mind and heart are in other places than Memphis right now is pretty accurate. Something I read tonight reminded me of my time in the Philippines. I worked with a similar sort of ministry there as they cared for girls coming out of sexually abusive homes...most often from their stepfathers. The book spoke about the power of something as simple as a smile...of looking into each of these girls' eyes with love and just smiling. For most of them...that is something that has never happened to them. The darkness of their slavery has shadowed even that small light. No words are even necessary.

Well, this reminded me of one particular girl when I was in the Philippines...Marilou. This girl and her experiences were more heart wrenching to me than any other in the house, because she was mentally challenged. Who would DARE sexually abuse an 8 year old girl...much less one that doesn't even fully understand her surroundings? But communicating with her was more difficult than any other girl there. We had the language barrier...but also a mental barrier. Yet never have I see the power of "just a smile" become such a precious thing. It was our thing. I couldn't really talk to her, but my smile..and eventually her smile back became our constant communication throughout my weeks there.

All I know is February 14th can't come soon enough. My heart literally aches to give even just a smile to these girls who have been so oppressed to not have experienced that. Yet how much more is there than that...complete healing and recovery may seem impossible with all they have gone through...but not with the God that I have come to know and see work. And this is what I cling to!